HUH?

A friend of ours was in a different state last week when he saw the City of Aurora on the news.
(This is a reference to a former 1st ward alderman of Aurora by the name of Marc Roberts. One night at a city council meeting, a vote was scheduled concerning some art that was to be painted on the side of a building in downtown Aurora. He was against it, and to dramatize his position, he said he had a copy of the only design that was would approve for this painting. With that, he distributed a picture of himself in the nude at a clothing optional beach. The national papers picked it up, but the local paper completely missed it. He's no longer the alderman.)	Yes, apparently we made the national news again, and this time an alderman didn't even have to distribute any naked pictures of himself to do it.
This latest moment in the spotlight came on the heels of the city council's decision to force people to turn down the radios in their cars. Simply, any car radio that can be heard more than 75 feet away is not in compliance, and the owner will be ticketed and the car impounded.
This was regarded as a controversial decision.
How controversial? Well, this was so controversial that a Chicago radio station sent somebody with a nickname that is also a colloquialism for excrement to our fair city to turn his radio up real loud. Those wacky guys! This was the same radio team that also tried to convince people to chuck bricks off an overpass onto an expressway filled with rush hour traffic. What a hoot, huh?
Most people have an opinion on the 75 foot ordinance. We know we do.
	Last year, on a particularly warm evening, we were standing in our kitchen at the back of our old house. The air conditioner was on, the television was playing in another room, the dishwasher was running, and we were standing at the sink washing our hands when a car with a totally bitchin' sound system stopped at the intersection a half block away from the front of the house. The bass response on his speakers caused impact tremors that made our kitchen windows hum so violently that we were convinced the neighbor's herd of tyranosaurs was stampeding again. Since that night, we've taken an interest in volume restrictions.
So, anyway, now if you turn the volume of your radio up to the point where it can be heard more than 75 feet away, your car will be impounded and you will pay a hefty fine.
Have you ever had your car impounded? Chances are better than 50-50 that if your car's impounded, you will get it back with its radio conveniently removed along with many of its tires. But that same gamble goes along with much of the downtown parking, so perhaps the fine is about the only real deterrent.
The video that the national media chose to play consisted of a person declaring that he had spent several thousand dollars on his car stereo, and if he couldn't play it as loud as he liked, he might become so upset that he just might have to kill somebody.
	You know, if you want to make a point, your best ploy is always to threaten homicide. This is a time-honored tactical move that has always proven successful.
Let's say you want to convince somebody that you feel strongly about being elected to a certain political office. Would you say, "Vote for me or I'll kill you."?
Of course you would. And you'd likely get elected, too. Everybody would vote for you. Except, of course, for suicidal types, but don't worry. These folks fall into a distinct minority and probably won't represent a real threat to your campaign.
	There were many other fine arguments against the new 75 foot ordinance. There were those who said that if they couldn't turn their stereos up loud enough to drown out the sound of a nuclear holocaust, they would all join street gangs. We should worry about all of these individuals.
Perhaps while they're in prison appealing their death sentences for multiple drive-by shootings, they'll sue the City of Aurora for forcing them into a life of crime by legislating the volume of their radios. That'll teach us.	Some others said that without real loud music booming from the backseat of their car, they just might have to start taking drugs. We can appreciate this response. After all, who among us doesn't reach for their crack pipe whenever the music starts to fade? We know we do.
Finally, there were those who felt that the law would be unevenly administered and would be used to discriminate against certain folks.
	Since this had the potential of being a valid complaint, some of us here at the Common Sense Testing Laboratories conducted an interesting experiment. We tricked out a late model Lincoln Continental with enough sound equipment to make the entire road crew of the last Megadeth tour drool with envy, turned the volume up to equal the combined decibel level of each rocket launch for the past 25 years, and played Ode to Joy.
Our car was impounded and we were fined.
Somehow, though, we've managed to avoid killing anybody.